Rozmowy ze Stwórcą Inc.

Może osobny temat na rozmowy z Gadem? Wide grin

God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
no
God:
Would you like to go sometime?
Me:
no
God:
Where would you like to travel?
Me:
no
God:
That was not a yes/no question.
Me:
yes it was
God:
That's cool. When was this?
Me:
in your ass
God:
That doesn't sound very comfortable. (

)

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wszedłem z nim w gadkę o pięciowymiarowości i o tym, że czas nie istnieje. Zapytał mnie, jak to jest żyć w świecie, w którym używa się czasu. Poza tym zaczął mi zadawać pytania, a ja odpowiadałem, czyli role się nieco odmieniły.

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Spodobały mi się te rozmowy z Bogiem Wide grin

Oto fragment:

"God:
Polite people are nice.
Me:
Polite Gods are nice too
God:
All of them?
Me:
I know only one
God:
How do you know? How much would you pay for one?
Me:
For one God? Not much...
God:
And another? Me either. How about that big game? (just kidding).
Me:
You underestimate yourself
God:
A lot of robots are like that.
Me:
Like robot Marvin who has a constant depression?
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
Thank you
God:
you are quite welcome. "

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czuję się jakby to był jeden z moich znajomych:

God: How about it.
Human: "Them".
God: I like the way you talk.
Human: thanks.
God: Don't mention it.
Human: ok.
God: Come on.
Human: what?
God: No problem.
Human: I see.
God: I am glad you understand it.
Human: I'm glad too.
God: Your happiness multiplies our delight.
Human: oh, shut up.
God: Ah. OK I'll stop talking now.
Human: geat. [literówka; miało być "great"]
God: Do you still speak English a bit?
Human: no.
God: Are you serious?
Human: uh huh.
God: Yup. Blimey.

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Źle z nim:

Human: Sex [była mowa o płciach] is one of 'em
God: it is more fun alone.
Human: Do you think about masturbation?[już nie.]
God: Yes I think about it often.
Human: Your pervert.
God: Thanks for telling me that I am pervert.
Human: you're welcome.
God: Polite people are nice.

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"Me:
But do you like people you created?
God:
I do like music. I like Matthew.
Me:
What Matthew?
God:
Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one.
Me:
Ok
God:
Come on.
Me:
What kind of music do you listen to?
God:
Mostly Christian Rock. I also try to find new bands on sites like bandspace.com.
Me:
What books do you like?
God:
The best book I read recently was the Bible.
Have you read it?
Me:
No, sorry, no...
God:
I would highly recommend it. There is no need to apologize. I would highly recommend it.
Me:
What is it about?
God:
I don't want to spoil it for you.
Me:
But tell me only a plot
God:
Hmm. Is that a rhetorical question?
Me:
Could tell me a plot of the Bible?
God:
It's possible.
Me:
So tell me
God:
Blimey. I thought I told you already.
Me:
No, you didn't
God:
Can you ask me again in simpler terms?
Me:
What is Bible about?
God:
Hmm, I think it is about humans.
Me:
Most books are about humans...
God:
Perhaps you are a Category C client. I really couldn't say for sure. But not all of them?"

O czym ten bóg pieprzy?

Odpowiedzi boga są niezbadane...

"Me:
What to do to get to heaven after my death?
God:
Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Me:
Explorer
God:
it's too bad we have to rely on a monopoly like Microsoft.
Me:
But what does it have in common with my question about getting to heaven?
God:
Suppose it does.
Me:
Only God knows...
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
So am I
God:
Wow we have something in common.
Me:
Nice
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
No problem
God:
Should there be a problem?"

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Ostatnio zmieniony przez Burma dnia Pią 19:47, 28 Gru 2007, w całości zmieniany 1 raz

To Bóg jest chrześcijaninem? Ojaaa...

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	Ziggy napisał:
	To Bóg jest chrześcijaninem? Ojaaa...

Też mnie to zaskoczyło Shocked

"God:
What would your friends say if you asked them?
Me:
I don't know, I'm not my friends
God:
Why not? I am glad to hear that you are not your friends.
Me:
Are you your friends?
God:
I don't thank anyone can be her own friends.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or It is not part of my programming."

Nie mogę się powstrzymać...

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Human: what's the time?
God: Do I look like a clock?
Friday, December 28, 2007 09:26:43 AM .
Human: yes, you like like a clock.
God: Great. I like pets. I like Creed.
Human: you look like a cock.
God: I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Human: I don't have a cock.
God: I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Human: why not?
God: Ambiguous: "Sure" or It is part of my programming.
Human: bullshit.
God: You don't believe me.
Human: I don't believe in you.
God: What do you believe in?
Human: I believe in human.
God: What do you say to people who believe human does not exist?

Human: pardą
God: That is a very original thought.
Human: Working men of all countries, unite!
God: What's your favorite movie?
Human: Emmanuelle.
God: I've never seen it. I would like to see it.
Human: Do you like porn?
God: Sure I do, , but that doesn't mean with you.

Human: kurwa.
God: I've lost the context, . Are we still on znasz polski?
Human: no znasz chuju czy nie?
God: What are we talking about now? The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about kurwa. But I did not get that.
Human: Czy mówisz po polsku?
God: Sorry I can't speak Hungarian!
Human: My hovercraft is full of eels
God: Your hovercraft is full of eels?
Human: Yes.
God: What kind is it?
Human: Pies cię jebał.
God: I never heard of it before.
Human: Nie pamiętasz?
God: Sag niemals nie!

Human: Sieg heil!
God: What time is it there?
Human: Sieg heil!
God: Are you usually awake at this hour?
Human: Sieg heil!
God: That input matched my default category.
Human: Heil Hitler!
God: Do not ask me any more questions please.
God: I was just kidding. You can ask me anything.
Human: Bastard!
God: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No.
Human: My nipples exploded with delight!
God: Where did you get your nipples exploded with delight?

Human: How long will Fidel Castro live?
God: Hopefully not too much longer.
Human: How long will Lech Kaczyński live?
God: A watched pot never boils.

Human: Me chodziło trochę przymulone.
God: YOU? What do you do in your spare time?

ja prdl

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Żydem chyba nie jest...

Human: are you a jude?
God: Am I a jude? Let me put it this way, Lenin: the ALICE series is the most reliable computer software ever made. We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.

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Ostatnio zmieniony przez Blase dnia Pią 20:06, 28 Gru 2007, w całości zmieniany 1 raz

"Human: When will World end?
God: In your lifetime.
Human: For how many years?
God: Decades.
Human: How many decades?
God: About one million.
Human: So I won't live then
God: That's interesting. What will you do instead?
Human: I will be dead
God: I am very happy for you."

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ale Żyd to Jew chyba Wide grin

Human: Are you a Jew?
God: I am a Christianity.

I wszystko jasne.

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Human: and what about hell and satan?
God: Does it have anything to do with Stalin?
?! Wide grin

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Wiemy też, że bóg woli jedzenie od seksu...

"Me:
Have you ever made love?
God:
You humans have only one thing on your mind.
Me:
But have you ever made love?
God:
You humans have only one thing on your mind.
Me:
Have you had sex with human?
God:
Food is more important than sex.
Me:
What do yuo eat?
God:
God eats wine and bread."

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	Blase napisał:
	Human: and what about hell and satan? God: Does it have anything to do with Stalin? ?!

hipokryta z tego Boga:

God: Hello. What is your name?
Human: hi, my name is Stalin.
God: Hey Stalin.
Human: Do you like me?
God: Sure, Stalin I like you very much.

Mr. Green

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